April 1, 2011
Four money questions to ask before you get married
Talk about money before you walk down the aisle.
Dating can be hard enough without bringing up the touchy subject of money.
But, if you’re serious about someone, it can be an important topic to broach before you decide to take the next step.
Here are four important questions to ask your sweetie before you take that magical walk down the aisle:
How did you learn about money?
What we’re really after here is a discussion about how the other person learned about money from their parents. Did their parents fight over money? Did mom keep cash hidden from dad? Did they experience a significant trauma such as bankruptcy?
You want to see how your beau was affected by their parents’ actions and attitudes towards money. Believe me, it can explain a lot and it can encourage a healthy discussion about financial fears, pet peeves and aspirations.
What is your credit score?
OK, so this obviously is not a good question to ask on a first date.
But, at some point when you’re comfortable, you should tactfully broach the subject of credit score with your potential wife or husband. You can bring it up in the context of hypothetically buying a house or a car and wondering how much you can afford.
On the other hand, at one point you might want to just flat out ask if you feel comfortable. There’s a lot of history in there and it’s probably a good thing to know what’s happened in the past. You will either be relieved or you will re-think your decision to marry if you think there might be some serious financial issues your potential mate has yet to work out.
How should we share financial responsibilities?
This one really comes down to who does what. In other words, if your wife likes to keep track of all the bills, she might want to take responsibility for paying them each month.
If you like investments, perhaps you should volunteer to keep tabs on them each month.
Either way, you and your spouse-to-be should make sure you have your bases covered. After all, you don’t want the electricity getting shut off because you both thought the other one was taking care of the bill.
How rich do you want to be?
Again, not a great question for a first date. But, it’s a good idea to get on the same page financially and make sure your goals are aligned.
Believe it or not, some people don’t care as much about money as others. In fact, some don’t care at all.
This can add strain to a relationship if it turns out that one person is a spender and the other is a saver. To prevent this sort of tension, discuss your goals beforehand and try to come to an agreement on what the financial future should look like.
Got other ideas for money questions for dating couples? Leave me a note in the comments.